03.25.04

Note: Entry originally from March 24, 2004 on Xanga.

In the latest Details Magazine, there's a piece with the title, "Gay or Asian."  You can check it out right here:

For a larger version, go here.

[ Article text - courtesy of Angry Asian Man ]

GAY OR ASIAN?

One cruises for chicken; the other takes it General Tso-style. Whether you're into shrimp balls or shaved balls, entering the dragon requires imperial tastes. So choke up on your chopsticks, and make sure your labels are showing. Study hard, Grasshopper: A sharp eye will always take home the plumpest eel.

1 DIOR SUNGLASSES: Subs as headband and amplifies inscrutable affect.

2 RYAN SEACREST HAIR: Shellacked spikes, just like that crazy cool Americaaaaaaaan!

3 DELICATE FEATURES: Refreshed by a cup of hot tea or a hot night of teabagging.

4 DOLCE & GABBANA SUEDE JACKET: Keeps the last samurai warm and buttoned tight on the battlefield.

5 WHITE T-SHIRT: V-neck nicely showcases sashimi-smooth chest. What other men visit salons to get, the Asian gene pool provides for free.

6 LADYBOY FINGERS: Soft and long. Perfect for both waxing on and wacing off, plucking the koto, or gripping the Kendo stick.

7 LOUIS VUITTON BAG: Don't be duped by ghetto knockoffs. Every queen deserves the real deal.

8 EVISU JEANS: $400. A bonsai ass requires delicate tending.

9 METALLIC SNEAKERS: When the Pink Lady takes the stage, nothing should be lost in translation.

++++

When I first saw this article, I was in disbelief that something that blatantly racist would be printed in a mainstream magazine.  What are they trying to insinuate, that you can't tell Asians apart from gays?  Thanks for trying to perpetuate the effeminate Asian male stereotype.  Also, in the headline, it's asking "gay or asian?"  So if you're a gay Asian, does that mean you better stop waffling and make up your mind on which one you want to be?  I know this is supposed to be a joke and I'm always down for a good laugh, but this is riduculous.  Asian fingers are "perfect for both waxing on and wacing off, plucking the koto, or gripping the Kendo stick?"  Get your bullshit cliche'd stereotypes out of here.  It's like they're thinking, "oh, we don't have anything creative to write about this month, so we'll just make fun of Asians."  I hate it how it's the chic thing to do to bash on Asians.  If the media did the same to other races, people would be calling for heads.  We have to put a stop to this kind of discrimination.

Thoughts?

Entry originally posted on Xanga